As They Were
by ShawThang
Summary: WIP Post ‘The Wish’. Cordelia has had enough and takes things into her own hands, Buffy searches for a way to make it work with Angel, and Drusilla is back in town and determined to end the world once and for all…
1. Chapter 1

**Title- As They Were**

**Summary- Post 'The Wish'. Cordelia has had enough and takes things into her own hands, Buffy searches for a way to make it work with Angel, and Drusilla is back in town and determined to end the world…**

**Disclaimer- All of this belongs to Joss Whedon. I'm just borrowing to satisfy my hunger for more BtVS.**

**Author Note: This is my first foray back into the world of fanfiction for a long time, so I would love to hear from you. ****Enjoy...**

* * *

**AS THEY WERE**

**ONE**

'I wish Buffy Summers had_ never_ come to Sunnydale!'

Cordelia knew it was only wishful thinking, but saying it aloud still made her feel better. Of course it would be too convenient for someone to come along and grant her wish. Things like that didn't happen in this god-forsaken _real_ world. Not real as in difficult SATs, deciding on college preferences or choosing between a Gucci or Prada handbag, but _real_, as in vampires and demons and cheating bastard boyfriends.

She lifted her gaze to where Buffy, Willow and Xander sat talking. Though she didn't want to admit it, some part of her wanted to be there with them. Talking. Laughing. Doing stuff one usually does with friends. It wasn't as though the last few months had been a painful experience—Cordelia had actually found herself enjoying the chance to have people see her for who she was and still care about her. It had been a long time since anyone had done that.

But then a vision of Xander leaning over Willow on the bed reared through her mind and every bit of that thought dissipated.

Buffy. Ever since _she _had arrived Cordelia's life had done exactly what Buffy had done to her last night—gone straight into the dump. Things would be how they should be, with her as Queen C and those two pathetic idiots barely an ant on her radar. Willow and Xander, two nobodies, talking about maths equations and comic books. Scurrying past her without her even noticing or caring.

Caring. That was her problem. She still cared about them. She cared what they thought of her, and she cared that they still had each other when she had no one, and she cared that they might go out that night and get killed.

Cordelia didn't want to care about anything anymore.

If Buffy hadn't come here…

That was it. Cordelia had had enough of everyone's insults and pitying looks. First to visit the nurse for her 'headache' and then home, where she could shut herself in her room and forget that the last week had ever happened. Turning on her heel, she gave one last glance at the three friends and then walked away. She ignored the sniggers and whispers the followed her through the hallways. Let them. She didn't care anymore.

The nurse gave her aspirin but Cordelia claimed it was only getting worse. She was definitely going to be an actress. Usually no one got sent home by the suspicious, cold-hearted nurse, but twenty minutes later Cordelia was pulling into her driveway. Her parents weren't home, thank god. She made herself a sandwich but when she went to eat it her stomach clenched and she lost her appetite. She threw it out and sat on her bed, at a complete loss.

Was she going to lock herself in her room and mope forever? Sure, Xander had cheated on her, with _Willow _no less, even though she had sacrificed her entire life's struggle to the top of the social ladder for him and put up with her former 'friends' ridiculing. Okay, so she had lost face at school, most of the girls laughed at her, all of the guys avoided her like the plague. Was it really_ that_ bad?

Cordelia groaned and buried her face in the pillow. She punched her fist on the mattress and a bowl clattered to the floor. She reached over to pick it up and realized it was the same one she had used to burn all her photos of _him_. Tears pricked her eyes. The front door banged open downstairs, and she heard her mother's voice.

Cordelia rose from the bed and went downstairs, pausing at the bottom of the stairs. Her mother was on the phone.

'You can't be serious? Cordelia wouldn't do that…'

Cordelia sank to the steps.

'And he _cheated _on her? Where did you hear this? This is Cordelia we're talking about, remember. With the Rosenburg girl? Oh my god, this is horrible! I won't be able to show my face to the school committee after this. Can you image what Harmony's mother will say to me?'

Cordelia shot to her feet and hot pain jabbed into her abdomen as her wound stretched. She gasped as stitches tore and bit her lip against the pain, but it soon abated as fury took over. Even her mother had joined the ranks against her. Wasn't there anyone who—No. She wasn't going to sit here and wait for someone to hold her hand and tell her to eat cookies and ice cream. That was weak. But she wanted the ache to go away. Not the throb from her wound, but the unrelenting, everlasting_ ache _in her heart.

Back in her room she threw on a pair of shorts and an exercise tee, tied on her runners and climbed out her window. She slid down the roof onto the fence and hit the ground with a soft thud.

She rubbed the old wound gently, and then started to run. She jogged through the streets of Sunnydale, mindlessly putting one foot in front of the other. She bit her lip against the throbbing pain in her abdomen until she tasted blood, and then she simply let the pain come. It was…refreshing. Instead of holding all her misery inside all her pent up frustration and anger were pouring out of her as her feet pounded the pavement. She had never enjoyed jogging, much preferring the social aspect of working out at the local gym (and maybe the personal trainers had something to do with it). But this was the only thing she could think of that might erase the heartache, at least, for a while.

Time faded until she noticed the lengthening shadows and glanced up, surprised to see the darkening, purple sky. But it was already too late. A rustle of leaves. A low growl. Cordelia spun around just as the vampire stepped out from behind a tree.

'You're out late, little girl,' he said, his amber eyes glowing with anticipation.

'I guess I am,' she muttered.

He lunged for her. She shrieked as his fist collided with her cheek, throwing her into the tree. A ringing filled her ears and she grabbed her head in pain. But something snapped in her. As if there had been a part of her disjointed from the rest, and all of a sudden the final piece had shifted and clicked back into place.

She was Cordelia Chase. And she was done with it all.

A wild scream escaped her throat as he approached again and she saw the vampire hesitate. She threw herself at him, kicking and scratching and hitting him with her fists. He fell to the ground beneath her, stunned by her ferocity, but recovered quickly. He grabbed her wrists and shoved her backwards. Cordelia flew into the tree, knocking the breath from her and opening up the old stab wound. Blood flowed onto her shirt. She saw the vampire's eyes widen in excitement and hunger. Reaching up, she snapped off a branch just as he attacked, and when he grabbed her throat she thrust the branch into his chest as hard as she could.

The vampire blinked, and then exploded into dust.

Cordelia stood against the tree, panting hard. She glanced down at her blood-soaked shirt and the branch she held in her hand, and smiled. That felt good. Very good. For the first time since waking up in hospital over a week ago, Cordelia felt at peace. Her lungs burned and her abdomen throbbed and she could feel bruises forming on her neck where the vamp had grabbed her, but she couldn't feel the betrayal and the shame that had hounded her.

She felt invigorated. Was this how Buffy dealt? When Angel lost his soul and killed again, was this how she got over the pain? Her heart was thrumming, the blood rushing through her veins from the exertion of the jog and the exhilaration of the kill. This was something beautiful.

After a few moments the elation wore off and Cordelia was left to stumble home, exhausted, hurting, and alone.

Cordelia didn't go to school the next day. She drove into town and signed up for a gym membership, then hopped on the treadmill. An hour flew by as she ran.

'You do know there is a twenty-minute limit on the equipment?'

She glanced up to see one of the trainers smiling at her. Stepping off the treadmill she grabbed a towel and patted her sweaty forehead. 'Sorry,' she said. 'I lost track of time.'

'That's okay,' he replied. 'We're pretty slow at the moment. All the other young people are at school.'

She ignored his pointed comment and turned away. She supposed once she would have leapt at a chance such as this to flirt with one of the trainers. It would gain her many points with Harmony and her crew, and it would definitely hurt Xander. But Cordelia didn't care about any of that anymore. She moved on to resistance training, sneering as her muscles burned and burned. It was a cure, a cure to the horrible fist that seemed to clench her heart every time her thoughts returned to that which she didn't want to think about.

Four hours passed until she staggered into the change rooms. Everything hurt now, and she couldn't think of anything but the agony in her body. She peeled the sweat-soaked clothes from her body and stepped into the shower. The cold water streamed over her body, soothing her sore muscles. She rested her forehead against the shower wall, then sank to the floor and sobbed.

With her tears dried out Cordelia walked through the gym toward the exit, but her attention was caught by a leaflet pinned to the gym wall.

SELF DEFENSE CLASSES

TUESDAY NIGHT 8:00

Cordelia considered it, then tore it down and shoved it into her bag.

That night Cordelia attended the self-defence class, but found herself disappointed and wanting more. The instructor seemed to believe that a few eye-gouges, clawing at someone's nail cuticles and ballet twists would help someone escape an assailant. Cordelia wanted to see him get away from a vampire. She walked home in the dark, uncaring that she was alone after nightfall.

Loud shouting interrupted her stroll home, and Cordelia followed the sound to one of the many cemeteries in this town. Two vampires, both suited men, were arguing about who would kill the trembling girl that lay on the ground between them. Her face was scratched and bleeding and her top had been torn. Cordelia sighed; why hadn't she kept walking? She would be at home in bed by now.

They kept arguing, and she crept into a copse of trees and hid in the shadows, sizing up the situation. There was no way she could kill two vampires. Firstly, because she had worked out for over five hours that day, secondly, because she had no weapons, and thirdly, because there was no way she was stupid enough to try.

A familiar voice interrupted the fight. 'If neither of you are going to eat her, mind if I have a bite?'

The two vampires spun around. 'She's our catch, buddy. Piss off.'

Spike stepped out from the shadows. 'Alright, alright. I just thought I'd ask since your bloody voices are scaring off the rest of the sodding people! So either shut your traps or I'm gonna have to solve your problem for you.' Since when had Spike been back in town? Cordelia wondered whether Buffy knew, and then decided she didn't care.

They two vampires rounded on him, snarling, but he simply laughed.

'Think you can take me?' he asked with a snort. Cordelia rolled her eyes. It just proved that no matter how old men were they were still testosterone-raging little boys.

Cordelia was almost taken aback by how quickly everything happened after that. One of the vampires launched at Spike, who fell backwards onto the grass and kicked him over his head. Rolling onto his feet, Spike turned around just in time to duck beneath a wide-swinging punch thrown by the second vampire. Spike threw an uppercut that crunched into the vampire's ribs with a sickened noise.

As the three of them fought, Cordelia stepped out from behind the trees without giving a moment's thought to what would happen to her if one of them spotted her. She hurried to where the shell-shocked girl lay trembling and grabbed her arm, putting her finger to her lips before she could make a sound.

'Move,' she whispered, pulling the girl to her feet. Cordelia suddenly recognised her from school. Josie? Joanie? The girl nodded and they quickly crept away into the trees where Cordelia had been hiding.

'Run home,' she told the girl, 'and don't stop until you've locked the door behind you.'

Josie or Joanie thanked her, then turned and followed Cordelia's advice. As the girl disappeared around the corner, Cordelia heard the tell-tale noises of a stake hitting home and the following explosion of dust. She didn't particularly want to stick around and see who won, especially since they would still be hungry for blood. But Cordelia couldn't help her curiosity, and she wanted to know if Spike had been able to beat both of them.

She peered through the bushes and saw Spike spin on his left foot and slam a make-shift stake into the vampire's heart. He dusted himself off and smiled.

'Nothing better than a good brawl to work up my appetite,' he said, turning to where the girl had been. A puzzled expression crossed his face when he saw she was gone, and then he threw the stake into the cemetery with a groan. 'Oh, come on! All that work for bloody nothing? I hate this town.'

Cordelia watched him stalk off.

Back at her house, Cordelia sank onto her bed. Her body was screaming at any movement she made. A hot, steamy bath sounded amazing but she didn't have enough strength left to turn the taps on. Cordelia closed her eyes, still clothed in her work out outfit and runners, and fell asleep almost immediately. She dreamt of Sunnydale High, where she was walking through the corridors and everyone was pointing at her and laughing. She finally reached the end where she came face to face with Xander who laughed at her, thrust his hand forward and tore her heart out of her chest, splattering blood all over the walls…

She shot upright, the sheets tangled around her legs. Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was 6:30. Good. Enough time to go for a run before school. As she dressed, Cordelia thought about not going. It was easy enough to call in sick for herself, and neither of her parents were ever home these days. But she hated the thought of everyone knowing how much their mocking affected her. So she would go and face whatever new taunts they had to throw at her.

Her muscles ached from the day before but Cordelia revelled in the stiff, burning that shoot through them with every step. She gasped for air, her lips and mouth dry and claggy, by the time she reached home again. She showered quickly, got dressed, and left for school, hoping her outfit would speak for her and tell anyone who might have approached her to stay away. Her black pants were skin tight and low-waisted, and her dark-red tee left a few centimetres of midriff showing. She knew she looked good, and just intimidating enough. Like Faith, she thought, although anyone with a semblance of intelligence could see that Faith's vulnerability and fear simmered just beneath her done-up surface.

Cordelia wasn't vulnerable anymore, and she wasn't afraid.

For the first time since her impalement, she didn't think of Xander and his betrayal until she reached the school gates. And even then it was barely a thought, but an image of him in her dream. She walked through the car park and across the courtyard, aware that many eyes were following her. She ignored them, went inside and opened the door to the basement. Glancing over her shoulder and seeing no-one, she slid inside and sat at the bottom of the stairwell. She reached into her bag and pulled out a packet of cigarettes she had bought on the way to school. They hadn't even asked for ID.

She lit up, inhaled and enjoyed the harshness of the smoke in her throat. It had been a while since she'd smoked last. Almost a year ago, while dating a drummer from some crap band. He had smoked constantly. She wondered where he was now, and had the thought that like most new-comers, he was most likely dead.

As soon as she finished the cigarette she dropped the butt on the ground and crushed it beneath her foot, then climbed the stairs and slipped out into the corridor again. She made her way to her locker and then to class, well aware that she was late but caring little. She walked into the classroom without a word, ignored the teacher's exclamation and sat in the only available seat left—next to Buffy—and opened her book in front of her.

'Any explanation for your tardiness, Miss Chase?'

She didn't glance up. 'Not really.'

The teacher was aghast, but failed to find anything to say, so she simply continued on with her lesson. Buffy was staring at her intently, and Cordelia found it extremely annoying.

'Got a problem, Buffy?' she asked, staring the blonde girl straight in the eye.


	2. Chapter 2

**AS THEY WERE**

**TWO**

Buffy was surprised at the bored, emotionless voice that came out of Cordelia's mouth. Usually she was a lot more vocal about her problems, and a lot less dry. But then again, Cordelia's problems had never caused her to lose face in front of the entire school, and lose her boyfriend at the same time.

'Not really,' Buffy replied, keeping her voice soft. 'But I'm guessing you do. Are you alright?'

'Fine,' Cordelia replied before turning back to her books.

'Pay attention, Miss Summers,' the teacher snapped.

Buffy turned to the front again, but couldn't help sneaking glances over at the brunette sitting next to her. There was something different about her, something… darker.

Harmony leant over, smiling sweetly, and said, 'I love the new goth look, Cordy.'

'Shut up, Harm,' Cordelia snapped. 'Every time you open your mouth I'm forced to wonder why God gave you one in the first place.'

Harmony's mouth dropped open.

'I'm surprised you can manage to look so shocked after all that botox work you've had this summer. Or maybe your mother decided to spend all that money on herself instead of fixing her daughter's flaws?'

Buffy stared at Cordelia, stunned.

Cordelia had always been a first-class bitch, but this was downright… brutal. It reminded her of something, but she couldn't grasp it. Buffy watched her sit back and stare at the teacher. The almost sadistic grin on Cordelia's face made Buffy drop her book on the ground. She bent down to retrieve it to a few sniggers. Cordelia ignored the teacher the rest of the class and sketched on a bit of paper until the bell rang, and then she pushed past another student and disappeared outside. Buffy went over to her desk and picked up the paper.

On it was a drawing of a boy holding a heart in his hand. There was what looked like blood on the lockers behind him. Buffy didn't have to wonder who the boy was.

She found Giles nose-deep in a book when she barged into the library.

'Cordelia is seriously losing it,' she announced.

Giles blinked as he looked up. 'Pardon?'

'Cordelia has lost the plot,' she said, throwing her bags on the ground.

'Well, it's to be expected, after what the poor girl has been through,' Giles replied. 'But look at this—'

'She actually threatened Harmony today in class. And she came in late and I'm sure she'd been smoking—'

'Buffy,' he interrupted. 'I'm sure Cordelia will recover soon enough, but if you don't listen she won't even get a chance to.'

'Huh?'

Giles passed her a book already opened to the middle. She found herself looking at an image of a tall, crusty-skinned demon she hoped she never had to fight. His eyes were blood red and his head was covered in inch-long, sharp spikes.

'Tell me I don't have to kill him,' she said, handing the book back.

Giles placed it on the table and removed his glasses. 'I hope you won't have to, but I came across a prophesy—'

Buffy rolled her eyes. 'Of course. What else would it be?'

He pointedly ignored her. '—that tell of a demon called Cruor who rises every hundred years on the summer solstice, which is on the twenty-first of June.'

'That's tomorrow,' she said.

'Exactly. Now his name literally translates as 'bloodshed'.'

'That sounds cuddly.'

'Buffy, do be serious,' he said, exasperated. 'He was captured in Egypt around 100 BC and buried alive in a tomb. But it was found by archaeologists in the eighteenth century and he was released again. He managed to devastate the villages around his tomb before a powerful warlock subdued him, returning him to his sarcophagus and cursing it. He kept a loophole in the curse in case he had need for such a weapon and brought it to the Hellmouth, but he was killed and now Cruor wakes on the solstice every hundred years. You must find his sarcophagus and destroy it before noon tomorrow or he will obliterate the town and probably most of the east coast before the solstice ends.'

She gave a quick nod and hopped off the desk. 'On it. It'll be my first stop on patrol tonight. Where is his sarcophagus, anyway?'

Giles squeezed his eyes shut and opened them. 'I have no idea.'

The library door swung open and Willow and Xander appeared. Buffy noticed the way they walked apart, where before they had always been joined at the hip. She felt a tiny sliver of anger towards them for what they had done, but they were her best friends and there was nothing she could do but forgive them. If either of them wanted a chance to win back their respective lovers again they wouldn't be able to be so close anymore, and that's what hurt more than anything.

'What's news?' Willow asked.

'Yeah,' Xander added, scooting into a chair. 'Any big forces of evil we can set onto Cordelia?'

Buffy frowned. 'Xander…' she began, but stopped when she remembered the drawing Cordelia had done during class.

'What?' he said. 'I'm sure we could use her as bait or something.'

'As a matter of fact, we do have a new… big force of evil, as Xander so helpfully put it.' Giles replaced his glasses and disappeared into his office. He returned with an armful of books and piled the stack on the table. 'It's a demon called Cruor and he is planning to rise tomorrow at noon.'

'Why tomorrow?' Willow asked, but her eyes widened and she thrust her hand into the air, as though still in class. 'The summer solstice.'

'Yes, and if we don't destroy him before he rises it will be goodbye Sunnydale and most of the US. We need to research for any mention of an Egyptian sarcophagus being transported to Sunnydale and where it was buried.'

Willow threw her bag onto the floor and reached for a book, but Xander just shook his head. 'It's always fun and games in the Sunnydale High Library.'

* * *

Buffy twirled the stake between her fingers and wondered whether the apparent lack of the undead variety coincided with the rising of Cruor the next day. She was not complaining; if it stayed quiet she would be able to kill Cruor, patrol and get to bed before midnight tonight. Her arm snaked around to the axe strapped to her back to ensure it was still there. Now she just had to find the damned burial site. Giles had said it was to the left of the mausoleum, but to the right of a statue of an angel… She glanced around, but couldn't find the statue. Sighing, she hefted the axe over her shoulder and muttered under her breath. 

A rustle of leaves. Buffy froze, listening intently. Her senses were primed and she felt a presence coming up behind her in the shadows of the line of oak trees. She kept walking, but slowly, and gripped the axe more firmly. She could hear footsteps now, mirroring her own, but these were heavier and crunched loudly on the grass.

She stopped and turned.

'I've had a long day so if you wouldn't mind just showing yourself so I can kill you already and get on with my night, I'd be very appreciative.'

Giles stepped out.

'Does nicely asking the vampires to come out often work, Buffy?'

She shrugged. 'You'd be surprised how the quality of vampires has fallen since your days. What are you doing here?'

'I wanted to make sure you were able to find the location of the demon's burial site.'

Buffy scoffed. 'Do you doubt my abilities that much?'

He arched his brow. 'Did you find it?'

'No. There's no angel statue.'

He shook his head as he walked to the left of the mausoleum. He turned to face east and headed in that direction, until he stopped and knelt in the grass. He picked something up and Buffy stared at it. It was the head of an angel.

'Oh, I remember that statue now!' she said. 'I was having this great fight with a vampire and he came at me but I grabbed his neck and flung him over my head and he crashed into the angel which was a shame 'cause I liked that statue.'

She saw his face and shut up. Turning quickly, she searched the area between the two structures and found a square where the grass wasn't a green as the rest of the cemetery. The grass seemed to wilt, as though something had trampled this corner.

'I think I found it,' she called over her shoulder. Giles knelt at the edge of the rectangle and she noticed the shovel he carried. Twenty minutes later Buffy lowered the shovel and hit something hard. A loud clang rang out in the night and she met her Watcher's eyes. 'Bingo.'

Giles jumped into the grave with Buffy's axe in his hand and they dug around it until the large sarcophagus was revealed. Giles brushed the dirt off the top, but Buffy couldn't believe the size of the coffin. 'I'm really glad I don't have to fight this thing.'

'It says here to open it a key is needed. Oh, bloody hell! We didn't find anything about a key in our research.' She watched him lift the axe in anger and slam it into the lid of the sarcophagus. The blade stuck in the wood.

Buffy lifted it out and they stared at the narrow hole in the top.

'I guess they didn't count on someone being stupid enough to try to open it with an axe,' she said. She heaved the axe above her head and brought it down again, and the wood splintered beneath the force of the blow.

Giles switched on a torch and studied the wood. 'It's rotted,' he said, smiling.

Buffy smashed the coffin open with the axe and stared at the sunken, horrifying face of Cruor. There was a thin layer of skin on his skeleton, and the spikes covered his head, but the effect wasn't as terrifying as she thought he would be.

'This is interesting,' Giles said, leaning over. 'He must regenerate after he rises. Even if we hadn't caught him in time he would have been extremely weak until he killed, after which his body would begin to strengthen.'

'Well,' Buffy said. 'I don't think I'll wait for that to happen,' and she swung the axe in an arc until it severed Cruor's head from his body with a dull thud. She threw the axe onto the grass and climbed out of the grave, brushing her hands on her jeans. 'Job done.'

'Not quite,' Giles said. 'We still have to fill in the grave.'

Buffy sighed. 'Were you a slave-driver in a former life?'

'No, I was a Watcher with a slayer who did as she was told, now can we _please_ fill this hole so we can both go home?'

They both felt the air around them turn electric with power, and Buffy quickly snatched up the axe. Giles clutched the shovel.

'Two little birdies caught in the dark,' came a familiar lilting voice. 'Why have you hurt my teddy bear?'

Buffy knew who it was even before she saw her.

Drusilla.

She ambled from the shadows, wrapped in a tight-fitting navy dress. She was followed by a gang of vampires. Buffy quickly counted them, finding that there were about twelve in all. Thirteen—including Drusilla—against two. Not great odds.

'Drusilla,' she said. 'Why can't you just stay away?'

'Naughty slayer.' She tutted and waved her index finger back and forth. Their eyes met, and Buffy shivered. She couldn't help it; there was something different about her. Drusilla still sounded insane, but there was something else that Buffy had never seen before in the vampire. Cold, hard calculation. And then Drusilla threw her head back and moaned again. 'Look what you've done! He was going to be my friend…'

'He can still be your friend… Just without a head,' she returned.

Giles appeared at her side. 'Buffy, there's too many. We should retreat and fight her when it's an even ground.'

She nodded. 'Just a minute,' she murmured, and to Drusilla: 'I wish I could stay and chat but we've got to run. Pity about your friend here, but I can't have you destroying my town.' Buffy grabbed the shovel from Giles hand, hopped onto the sarcophagus and smashed Cruor's head until it wasn't anything but pulp. She vaulted herself out as Drusilla's pained wail shrieked through the night. 'Now it's time to go.'

Buffy and Giles sprinted across the cemetery with the vampires right behind them. Buffy glanced at the gate ahead of them, and realized that her Watcher was lagging behind. They wouldn't make it.

She saw a blur of black in the corner of her eye and thought they had run straight into an ambush, but then she recognised the tall figure. Angel cut behind Buffy and decapitated the first vampire with one swing of the broadsword he carried. Buffy stopped and turned, yelling at Giles to keep going, but she couldn't make sure her Watcher had listened because the vampires were already upon her.

As she ducked and weaved beneath blows, Buffy tried to keep an eye out for Drusilla, but the female vampire had disappeared. She threw her fist into the face of the first lackey and followed it with a stake to the heart, barely pausing to let the dust settle. She met the next one with a roundhouse kick that sent him sprawling to the ground, but was forced back by the next one who landed a punch on her jaw. Her head snapped back and she moved with the blow, falling to the ground and rolling to her feet to sweep _his_ from under him. She and Angel fought back to back and when she staked the last one and turned around she found Giles struggling with a vampire who had him pinned to the wall of a mausoleum. Angel was already behind the vampire and swinging the sword at his neck. Giles fell to the ground, coughing and sputtering.

'Drusilla's back,' Angel said.

Buffy gave him a withering look. 'Thanks for the head's up.'

Giles rose to his feet. 'She must have been planning to use the demon Cruor. It would be wise to find out what she is up to.'

'I'll ask around,' Angel said.

Giles nodded. Buffy saw the hesitation before his nod and felt his unease. Giles did not want to be anywhere near Angel, and she did not blame him for it. There was simply too much that had happened between the two men in her life for them to get along, but they would keep their peace and swallow their differences for the 'greater good'.

'Buffy, it's probably best if you found her before she causes any trouble.'

'There's something different about this,' she agreed. 'She's here for a reason.'

Angel glanced at her. 'Why do you say that?'

'She seemed… different. Like she had an agenda.' Buffy paused, remembering the shiver she had gotten when looking into Drusilla's eyes.

'She's insane, Buffy.'

'Doesn't mean she isn't up to something.'

'That may be but there's not much we can do about it now,' Giles said. 'You should get home, Buffy. We'll talk about this tomorrow at school.'

'Are you right to get home?'

Giles rolled his eyes. 'Please. Don't insult me.'

After he left, Buffy let Angel walk her home. Sometimes when she woke in the brightness of day she thought his return had all been a dream, and her stomach would knot in regret. Even now, walking beside him, she was amazed that he was actually here, that by some god-given grace Angel had found his way back. She wanted to reach out and touch him, to feel his solid presence to reassure herself that this was real. That he was back. And she would think of their future together and know that after all they had been though they could overcome anything.

But then the past reared its ugly head and dashed her hopes.

Because of her, people had died. Her friends had been hurt. And it could all happen again if they made one mistake.

So if she loved him as much as she thought she did, why hadn't she started searching for something that would let them be together?

'I've been seeing Jenny.'

It came so unexpectedly that Buffy didn't really understand what he meant.

'Excuse me?'

Angel turned away. 'When I'm alone… I see her. Jenny. And the others.'

Buffy didn't know what to say. Try as she might to forget it, Angel had killed Jenny, and he would have to live with that. They both would.

'I've been dreaming of all those I've killed. I mean, sometimes I get those dreams, but it's been every time I go to sleep. And Jenny…'

And image of Jenny Calendar flickered through her mind, and with it the pain and grief Giles had gone through after her death. Had Jenny come back? Was she haunting Angel for murdering her? But she could not see Jenny as the type of woman to seek retribution… It just didn't add up.

Angel stopped and grabbed her arm. 'She tells me to kill you.'

Buffy's blood ran cold. 'It's not Jenny.'

'But it is,' he said. 'It's her. She looks exactly the same, and her voice is perfect… And her eyes. I remember the eyes of those I kill most of all, Buffy, because they're always the same. Terrified. Helpless. Accusing.'

She shook her head. 'It can't be her…'

'Then who is it, Buffy?'

She couldn't answer him.


	3. Chapter 3

**For those of you who asked, this is **_**not **_**going to be a Cordy/Buffy pairing. They are both strong characters and have a big part to play in this story. So, here's chapter number three…**

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**AS THEY WERE**

**THREE**

Cordelia wondered whether she should let the others know Spike was back in town, but since she had no obligation to them anymore there wasn't really anything that dictated she should. It would a lot more entertaining letting them find out later on anyway, for her anyway. She tried to imagine Buffy and her lackeys bumping into Spike, but surprisingly she didn't get any satisfaction out of it. Her concern for them still existed, no matter how much she tried to rid herself of it.

So after the bell rang for lunch she pushed the library doors open and strode inside, much to the surprise of the four sitting inside.

"Cordelia," Giles said, blinking quickly.

"Hi Giles," she replied, and then turned to Buffy. "Just letting you know Spike is back in town."

With that she turned on her heel and left. As soon as she was outside, she pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, moving behind a tall oak tree. She had forgotten how soothing a smoke was, and now that she didn't care if it was going to give her wrinkles and yellow teeth when she was older it was even more relaxing. She saw Snyder appear at the window of his office and watched his eyes light up in excitement when he spotted her. He disappeared. Smirking, she finished her cigarette, dropped it on the ground and headed for the school gates.

By the time Snyder leapt around the tree to catch her in the act, she was gone. He stood there and glanced around, confused, and then wandered back inside, shaking his head.

Cordelia strolled through the streets without any destination in mind, and eventually found herself standing outside the same cemetery she had been in last night. She gazed at the tall iron-wrought gates that were supposed to keep people out and the dead in. Without thinking she pushed them open and walked in, allowing her feet to lead her. She ambled between the rows of headstones and graves and statues, noting the names of the dead.

Joseph Hardgraves was thirty-nine when he died. Sarah McKinnon was twenty-one. And Paul Lanza had been killed when he was only six years-old. Cordelia imagined his little body, stiff and pale, lying in the coffin beneath her feet, and thought of his mother. Was she still mourning for her son? Or had time erased most of the grief and regret? Cordelia shook the morbid thoughts away and glanced around. She felt restless and her muscles twitched with unease. She needed to work out. By the time she got home her parents' cars were in the driveway. She could hear them yelling and went around the backyard instead, climbing onto the fence and over the roof to her bedroom window. She quickly got changed and jogged down the stairs, pausing at the bedroom door to listen to her parents' fight.

"What do you mean _gone?"_ her mother shouted.

"It's all gone. Everything. We have to run now, or they're going to arrest me. We'll go to Mexico, or something, anywhere, but we need to go now!" Her father's voice was panicked. She moved to the door of their bedroom and peered in the slight crack. Suitcases were thrown open on the bed and her father was shoving clothes inside. Her mother copied him but moved slowly, as though still not quite understanding why she was packing all her things.

"How did they find out?" her mother asked.

Her father lashed out in frustration and threw a shoe across the room. "Stop asking questions and pack! Do you want me to go to jail?"

"But what about the house?"

"They're repossessing it."

"And Cordelia? Where will she go to school? How am I going to tell her?"

"I don't care how you tell her as long as she's packed and ready to leave the moment she gets home from school."

Cordelia chose that moment to step into the room. Both her parents glanced up in confusion before recognising her.

"I'm not going," she said. She did not really know what was going on, but her mind was slowly putting all the pieces together. Her father was in serious trouble and they were fleeing the country. Well, she had played no part in whatever he had done and she would not be punished for it. She was staying here.

Her mother hurried over and grabbed her hand. "Oh darling, don't be silly. Of course you are coming. We'll find you a new school and surely a house just as nice as this one."

She thought of starting over, of becoming a high-school queen again at a new school without Xander. No one would know about her past, and she could forget about all the dark secrets and terrifying things that existed in this world. A new beginning. But in reality they had no money, so she would be sent to a cheap public school without the latest clothes and without a car. Her life would be just as screwed up as it was here.

Cordelia pulled away and pried her mother's hand off hers. "No, I'm staying. I don't know what you've gotten yourself into but I don't care."

"Cordelia," her father said. "Where would you live? They're taking the house! And what would you do for money…work?"

She shrugged. "I'll move in with one of the girls." Her parents still knew nothing about how far she had fallen in her friends' good books. "And yes, I'll get a job. Whatever it takes. But I'm not going anywhere."

"I can't live without her!" her mother implored Cordelia's father, but he only zipped up his suitcase.

"Cordelia, you're coming and that's final. Go pack."

"No." She backed away and before they could say anything else, Cordelia turned and fled from the house. She ran, her legs pumping quickly, her heart racing.

What was going on? How had her life fallen apart so completely and so quickly? First she lost Xander, then her friends and her status, and now her home and even her parents. This wasn't how her life was supposed to be! Now she was homeless and penniless, without friends or parents. It struck her suddenly how real the situation was; there was no one who she could turn to. There wasn't anyone who cared. Could she find somewhere to stay? She'd have to find a job to pay for rent, which meant she would be at school during the day and working every night just to have a place to live in.

It was astounding how much your life could change in one, simple, moment.

_Stop thinking, stop thinking, stop thinking... _

_Think about it later._

She rounded a corner and ran straight into someone. Her head was down and the crown of her head collided with his chin and her knee, in the motion of moving upwards, landed right in his groin. His arms came up to catch her or protect himself and they landed on the ground in a tangle of arms and legs. Her knees scraped painfully against the asphalt and she felt her pants tears. Cordelia scrambled off him.

"I'm so sorry. I wasn't looking…"

He winced, still clutching his groin. "I noticed. Are you alright?" He was Irish, she noticed with surprise.

She studied him. A little short for her tastes and a bit on the scrawny side, he wore possibly one of the most disturbing outfits she had ever seen. Grey slacks and dirty brown pumps, with a green and violet striped shirt. It almost made her shudder. His hair was a mop of dusty brown hair and he gazed at her with a strange combination of pain and concern. Cordelia nodded, brushing off her pants.

"Yeah. I'm fine," she said as he slowly rose to his feet. "I guess… Sorry. Again. Bye."

She stepped around him and started jogging again when he called out.

"Cordelia?"

Cordelia stopped and when she turned to face him he was grinned at her. "I thought I'd 'ave to ask every seventeen year old girl in this town to find you, and 'ere I bump into you five minutes after I arrive."

"You're looking for me?"

He nodded. "Cordelia Chase is who I'm looking for, and I'm thinking that's you."

"Why are you looking for me?" The fact that he was looking for her and she had run right into his arms was strange, fate almost. And she wasn't sure she needed any more strangeness or any more of _anything_ in her life at the moment. And why exactly was a badly-dressed Irishman looking for her? She tensed, suddenly aware that she had no idea if this man was even human. Not a vampire obviously—the sun was still out—but you could never tell in this town.

"Who are you?"

"You finished your workout?" he asked instead, his gaze raking down her body.

"Tell me who you are or I might have to continue my work out by kicking your ass," she said.

To her surprise he laughed. "I'm sorry. I should've realized you weren't one of them forgetful types. You know, those people who see a demon run down the street and forget about it a few minutes later."

Cordelia couldn't hide her surprise. "You know about demons?"

"Yeah, you could say that," He reached down, picked up his hat and dusted it off. "You could also say I have visions about demons and vampires attacking people before it happens."

She shook her head, a sad smile on her lips. "I think you've got the wrong person. You should be talking to Buffy. She's the slayer. Or Giles. Helping people with this stuff is their kind of thing."

Doyle cocked his head. "And what's your kind of thing?"

"I just get in the way."

"Well you certainly got in my way because you were the leading lady in a vision I had about two days ago. And it was the most painful one I've had yet." He held out his hand and smiled at her. "I'm Doyle."


	4. Chapter 4

**I know, I know… Super long wait. But I've been caught up working on my original fiction project. My apologies for all those who read and review, but hopefully this chapter satisfies you until the next update (which should be sooner than the last one!).**

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**AS THEY WERE**

**FOUR**

Faith sauntered into the library and stretched her arms above her head. Her top rose up, revealing her taut stomach. "I'm getting a bit itchy, B. You wanna patrol?"

Buffy sighed and pointed out the window. "Daytime, Faith, remember?"

"So? We can crash a few nests—take 'em out when they're not expecting it."

"And leave school early and get expelled? No thanks."

Faith shrugged and moved to the weapons cabinet, extracting a cross bow. She started to practice a back flip with the cross bow in her hand, firing the weapon at the target on the wall before she even straightened. It flew wildly every time.

Giles strode in with a book open in his hands. "Balance your centre of gravity, Faith."

"Yeah, boss."

Buffy glanced up in surprise when Cordelia burst into the library again, followed by a short man wearing an outfit so loud it made Xander look like something out of a magazine. They were still sitting in the library talking about Dru and what her plan of action might be now that Cruor was demon-pulp, although Willow had moved on to helping Xander with his trig homework. Cordelia's face was red and her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail, as though she had been…

"Since when do you _jog?_" Buffy asked, taking in Cordelia's sweat pants and singlet.

"Since when do you care?" she shot back. "This isn't a social visit. Doyle here bumped into me and told me he had a really painful vision about all of us and Drusilla and the end of the world."

Giles shot up from his chair. "Vision?"

Doyle stepped forward and held out his hand. "Doyle."

"Rupert Giles,' he said, flustered. "I'm…the librarian."

"Librarian, eh?" Doyle smiled. "That's a handy cover for a Watcher."

Buffy rose from behind the table. This wasn't supposed to happen. Cordelia couldn't just bring in random people who claimed to have visions and tell them about her, or Giles. She studied the newcomer and felt an uncomfortable tingle on the back of her neck. There was something about him that felt wrong, and her instincts told her not to trust him until she found out what his deal was.

Giles had the exact same thoughts and shot Cordelia an annoyed look. "I'm sorry, I don't know what you're…"

"Let's skip the bullshit, alright?" Doyle said. "I already know about the Slayer and the whole she-bang that goes with it. I happen to receive visions from the bosses, the Big Men, the Powers That Be or whatever else you want to call them. I see, along with excruciatingly painful migraines, things that have already happened, that _are _happening or things that are going to happen in the future. And I had a nice little bop on the head yesterday that showed me a little town called Sunnydale and the not-so-nice future mapped out for it."

"So you're like a seer?" Willow said, becoming excited.

"I'm whatever you want me to be, hon."

Buffy put her hands on her hips. "What exactly did you see?

Doyle rested against the counter. "I saw a crescent moon, and a crazed brunette vampire in a white dress covered in blood. There was a massive demon behind her—he was crusty-looking, with red eyes and a spiky head. I saw Buffy and Angel and a few other humans fighting vampires that just seemed to keep on coming. And Cordy here is standing in front of this vampire looking a little worse for wear, but it's the vampire whose screaming like she's lost her mother."

"Is that it?" Faith asked. "What about me? You see me anywhere, Obi-wan?"

"Can't say I did, but no one except Buffy, Angel and Cordy had faces so you could be one of them." Buffy heard the hesitation in his voice, and saw the way his gaze slide away from Faith before answering. Faith shrugged and scooted backwards onto the table so she obviously hadn't picked up on his subtle lie. But his reticence just made her more wary of him.

Giles nodded. "The vampire must be Dru, and the demon is obviously Cruor."

"But we killed him last night!"

Doyle shrugged. "I just relay the message."

"Giles?" Buffy turned to the Watcher. "What does this mean?"

"It means we have missed something vital about this Cruor, because otherwise the vision Doyle had would already be altered."

Faith stepped forward again. "Hang on. How do we know this guy is even legit? I mean, just because he knows who we are and claims he has visions doesn't mean he's who he says he is."

Xander held up his hand. "He could be one of Dru's laymen trying to lead us off."

Doyle held up his hands. "Look, let me finish and then decide if you're gonna believe me or quarter me."

Buffy nodded. "Keep going then. And if I find out you're lying to me you're going to _wish _I was only quartering you."

"Good to hear. There was more to the vision. In it, while all you guys are fighting the vampires, this Dru starts battling someone."

"Who?"

"Cordelia."

Cordelia's head shot up. "What? Me? I don't think so."

Doyle shrugged. "It's what I saw."

Buffy stared at the brunette cheerleader, trying to imagine the girl in a fight without worrying about the state of her nails. But that wasn't fair. Cordelia was anything but meek; she wouldn't just roll over and die. If anything, she thought Cordelia would be a damn-hard opponent to beat and she had witnessed it first hand in their battle for Spring Queen. But against Dru? She would have little chance against the mad vampire.

"So the cheerleader goes one-on-one with the insane vampire," Faith said, nodding. "That's hot."

"Faith," Giles snapped and turned back to Doyle. "Are you sure it was Cordelia you saw?"

"I'm sure," he replied. "That's why I'm here. I came down here to tell you about the vision but the boss-man sent me down here to protect the lovely Cordelia."

Cordelia laughed. "I honestly don't know what you're taking, but I am not standing here discussing how I'm going to be killed by psycho-vamp."

"I never said you died—"

"But that's what you're all thinking," she said, and Buffy felt a flash of guilt. "There's no way I could beat Drusilla. So I'm going to die, aren't I? Well feel free to talk about this as long as you want but I won't stay here and listen."

"Cordelia," Buffy began.

"No! I'm going."

She turned and was almost at the door when Doyle called out. "I wouldn't leave if I was you."

Cordelia spun around angrily. "Why not?"

"Because Dru's had the same vision as me," he said. "She knows you're what stands between her and the end of the world. So, she's going to try and kill you as quickly as possible."

The smile that crossed her lips was one of defeated humour. "Of course. Why didn't I realize I was on her hit-list?" And with a rigid back she fled the room.

Buffy knew she was probably the only one there who knew exactly how Cordelia felt. To find out suddenly that you were part of a set of preordained events that would ultimately lead to your death—well, it was something she was well versed in. And if this Doyle's vision turned out to be true, then Cordelia had a difficult few weeks in front of her. Buffy realized she would have to be taught how to fight, and that she would need someone with her at all times if Drusilla was really out to kill her. She leapt into action.

"Giles, Willow, get researching on Cruor again. We need to know why Doyle saw him in his vision if we killed him. Faith and Xander, you two go get Angel and update him on everything."

"What will you do?" Giles asked.

"I've got to make sure Cordelia doesn't get herself killed. If she's really as important as Doyle claims then I'm going to do everything I can to keep her alive."

"And me?" Doyle said.

"You," Buffy replied, "are with me."

"Because you like my company?"

"Because I don't trust you as far as I could throw you—actually, not even that far."

Two hours later they had almost circled the entire town, and Buffy was certain something about Doyle wasn't right. She could feel something simmering beneath his surface, like a pent-up fury. But he was chatty and relaxed, talking about his life in LA warning and protecting the people in his visions. He just didn't suit the off-feeling he was radiating. She glanced up at the sky and noticed that it was growing dark—another half hour and night would fall. They hadn't yet found trace of Cordy, but Buffy was growing worried. Her house had been pretty much bare; food was still on the table but all the wardrobes had been emptied, and Buffy knew there was more going on in her life than Cordy had let on. Why would her parents flee town? And had Cordy gone with them?

She was about to suggest they return to the library when she heard the sounds of fighting up ahead. Doyle fell silent and they exchanged a glance before breaking into a run. Rounding the corner they found a vampire struggling against a dark-haired girl, just outside the gates of a cemetery. Buffy was about to call out Faith's name, when all of a sudden she realized that it wasn't Faith at all.

It was Cordy.

"Cordy!" she called out, and the brunette girl's head swiveled around. The momentary loss of focus worked in the vampire's favour and he got in a quick punch, but he hadn't had much room to swing and it was a weak one. Cordy rolled with the momentum though, falling to the ground. The vampire leapt to his feet and fell upon her, lowering his head to her neck…

Buffy whispered, "No…" and sprinted towards them, already seeing that she was going to be too late. And then the vampire froze, and exploded into dust. Buffy pulled up short, stunned, as Cordy coughed and rose to her feet, brushing off her clothes.

"Buffy," she said, striding past and handing her the stick she'd used as a stake. Buffy stared after her, turning back to Doyle with a confused look.

He shrugged. "She's pretty messed up, isn't she?" he said. Buffy rolled her eyes and the two of them ran to catch up with the brunette.

"What the hell was that?" Buffy asked.

"What?"

"You're hunting vampires by _yourself_?"

Cordelia shrugged, indifferent. "I wasn't hunting them. I just went for a walk and he found me so I decided to get rid of him."

Buffy struggled to come to terms with what she was hearing. Cordelia, queen of high school, who rated nails and hairstyles as number one on her priority list, fought a vampire alone and _won_. Buffy recalled the easy way she'd taken the punch and rolled with the pain, using her vulnerability to her advantage to give the vampire false feelings of victory. Cordelia had been _good._ Really good. She knew she should be angrier with the brunette for needlessly risking her own life, but she'd never seen another human fight like Cordelia had. Like pain was a friend.

"Have you been doing this for long?" she asked, ignoring the surprise that flickered through Cordelia's eyes. Buffy knew she'd expected Buffy to lecture her about responsibility and leaving all the dirty work to the Slayer.

"A few weeks, maybe," she said.

An idea started to form as Buffy watched the girl out of the corner of her eye. If Cordelia really was to face Dru in the coming apocalypse, she'd need all the help she could get. Buffy could already hear Giles ranting against it in her mind, but Buffy seriously thought this would be best.

_She _would train Cordelia to fight.


End file.
